Voice Mail
by Zuzuzuzu
Summary: Sarcastic voice mail from some of our favorite Potter characters!
1. Harry, Hermione, Snape, and Colin!

Voice Messages From Our Favorite Potter Characters!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters so don't sue me cause I have no money!

Authors note: This is my fist fic, the idea came from Flutie2891 who did something sort of like this, except with Star Wars characters. Btw, this isn't really a serious fic. It's actually just a test fic cause it's my first one, I'll make them a little more serious latter on. Lol.

"Hello, you have reached the voice-mail of Harry Potter(the guy with the scar on his head) I am not here right now because either A) I'm out wandering the castle under my invisibility cloak solving mysteries and meeting 3-headed dogs B) Screaming like a little girl because the basilisk is about to eat me C) Out saving innocent hippogriffs from mad evil dictatorscoughFudgecough D) Having evil thoughts about poisoning Sna- I mean, giving him a nice birthday presenttrys to look innocent or C) Fighting Voldemort in a spooky looking graveyard, so please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm finished getting revenge on a certain mad evil toad women Muahahaha!beep

"Hello! You've reached Hermione Granger(the girl whose always getting perfect marks on everything while still doing Harry and Ron's homework every night) I currently cannot reach the phone because I am either A) busy doing homework B) In the library researching the Poly-Juice potion C) Ridding hippogriffs with Harry or D) Bickering with Ron who thinks my hair should be purple, so please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I canbeep

"You've reached Severus Snapesneers Leave a message unless your another pathetic first year who wants to be exused from doing the 700 page assignment on werewolves or unless your last name is Pottersmirksbeep

"Hello! You've reached Colin Creevy! Leave a message after the little beepy at the end and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done taking 200 more pictures of Harry Potter in the most awkward positons! Muhahahaaha!beep


	2. Dumbledore, Fudge, and Cho!

Now we'll look at a few new characters and their overly sarcastic replys! Muhahahaha!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters so don't sue me cause I have no money!

Author's Note: My comp. Is having some trouble and some things are supposed to have **put text here** star thingys around them but they're not showing up, apparently:( so I'll have to use something else and see if that works instead.

Chapter 2: Dumbledore, Fudge, and Cho!

Oo0o0

"Hello there young ones! You have reached the voice mail of Albus Dumbledore! I am away from my office probably getting Harry out of trouble or consulting the ministry on the improper use of rubber chickens. If you have something of dire importance that you need to consult with me coughHarrycough leave a message unless your name is Seamus Finigan who just wants to stop by my office for another Berry Bott's Every Flavor Beans(no more candy for you Mr. Finigan!)" beep

Oo0o0

"You have reached the office of Cornelius Fudge, the one and only! I am away tring to get people to diss Dumebledore cause he's gone mad thinking Voledemort is back(which is completely absurd). Please leave a message after the beep unless your name is Percy Weasley(Percy, for the last time you don't have write a 3-page essay on the improper use of toilet dispensers!) or your another rotten teenager who wants to make pranks saying I'm gay"(which is completely absurd because I'm not!)beep

Oo0o0

"Hello!you can practically _hear _her smile I am busy glossing over my looks and/or snogging Ce I mean, doing my homeworksmiles innocentlyPlease leave a message after the beep unless your last name is Potter. Give it up stalking me Potter! I know it's you who gives out secret love poems to me even though they are kinda cute sometimes, I must admitbeep

Oo0o0

How sarcastic can I get? Any requests on da characters I should do? If not, I'm leaving it like this.


	3. Draco, Lupin, Umbridge, and hmm

Disclaimer: Do not and will never own any of the Harry Potter characters.

AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I was on vacation. Well, anyway, I'm running out of ideas for this, I guess I could do one more chapter at least, I don know if anyone's still reading these though, oh well, I'll do it anyway.

Mike Jones, WHO, Mike Jones, Jones! Ok, ignore that. I have a certain song stuck in my head right now, lol.

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Chapter 3: Draco, Lupin, Umbridge and hmm…mystery person. Muhahaha!

"smirks" You have reached the line of Draco Malfoy"smirks" I am busy smirking at Harry Potter because I love to smirk(and I do it a hundred times in the books) or out smirking at Harry Potter some more(because I love to smirk) Leave a message and I might get back to you later.beep.

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Hello?" taps mic" Is this thing on? Why, hello there. You have reached the line of Professor Lupin. Ack, oh no, the moon is out, I'll um, get back to you later.beep.

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Hello there!" you can smell sickly sweet perfume coming out of the phone" You have reached the line of Professor Umbridge. I am out making hell for the students at Hogwarts so leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you.beep.

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"you can here panting in the background" Woof, woof! Ruff, woof, woof! Arf! Woof!.beep.

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Mike Jones, WHO, Mike Jones, Jones! Ignore me again. It's just a song I heard on the radio and now I'm obesessed with it.

Hey, if I do spell check on the word "Draco" one of the alternate words is Darcy. "smirks" Darcy Malfoy, now that's a good one:p


End file.
